Czech born scientist, inventor, mystic and author Itzhak Bentov drew a bell curve to illustrate the evolution of human consciousness. On the left side of the curve is the “throwbacks” from where the human animal evolved — the more primitive of our species, but still alive today in diminishing numbers. In the middle of the curve, of course, is the the majority of our planet’s inhabitants who possess an average level of consciousness, setting the standard for what is considered to be “normal”. To the far right of the curve are the few and the rare humans present on the earth at this time who have evolved to a level of consciousness that is beyond the understanding and systems of measurement that exist today. This is where all humanity is headed and it is only a matter of time before the median will reach this point and the evolved humans on the far right of the new curve will be in a form and at a level we cannot even fathom now.
He asked the question: “Where can we find these evolved humans in our world today?” The interviewer ventured that they could be found at Universities and other places where one might expect to find the intellectual elite. Bentov said no. “In mental institutions,” he said.
Society today does not know what to do with people who exist simultaneously in unfamiliar realms, which consist of anything the average human cannot see or hear or understand. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Our senses limit us being able to perceive only a fraction of what science has already proved is there. And yet, when someone can perceive these things without a conventional frame-of-reference to interpret the experience, it is bewildering for them, and socially unacceptable in general.
When all of your life, your paradigm has always been radically separate from what we observe as normal, there is often a desperation to be normal and fit in and muffle the gifts of this higher consciousness. This can create a form of suffering that in most cases will result in a way to deal with the world that will be judged as bad and wrong. It is the rare and courageous thing to be in this position and battle your way to a place of self-referral where you know what is normal for you is not normal for anyone else. And then it is ever rarer to have the audacity and naivete to blatantly explore what it means to be the creature that you are without the understanding, approval or support of others.
The conventional psychological community attempts to quantify and standardize lifetimes of bewildering isolation and disenfranchisement with a plethora of diagnosable personality disorders. Are they real, or just insurance codes to justify medicating brilliance? Who’s to say, but best not to judge. Better to try to understand. Author and Teacher Carolyn Myss states that each soul must have an incarnation when “the tribe” fails them, releasing them to be on a solitary journey in that life to be free to evolve at their own rate.
While I don’t consider myself to be at the extreme right of the bell curve, this solitary journey has been my experience. Am I diagnosable? Am I committable? I guess it depends on your paradigm and your agenda and your position of power over my life as to whether I get to stay free. So far I have escaped awarding anyone with that kind of power over me.
It never occurred to me not to be free. And and somehow I have managed, perhaps because I didn’t know any better, to create a life full of miracles and magic seemingly out of thin air without ever hurting anyone.
Do I suffer more than most? Yes, absolutely I do. I go through life with the feeling of someone visiting a nursing home where all of the residents are in a state of blissful dementia. They are all just as happy as can be and don’t know they are oblivious to reality. If I were presented with the option to become like them … one of them … to be happy and free of the constant discomfort of this awareness, I would not choose it. I couldn’t. So not only am I choosing to be as I am, I am embracing it, and I am going to push my limits as far as I can before I get caught!
~ Jeni Humming, April 2007