All any of us has is our own way of perceiving the world. There are as many paradigms as there are people. Most people don’t give credit where credit is due as to why they have the particular frame-of-reference they have. People think they are doing their own thinking when the truth is: they have been programmed their entire lives to hold arbitrary and indefensible basic beliefs that conflict with their deep inner knowing. Almost without exception, the first thing we were programmed to ignore was our innate sense of truth.
For example: you are a young child in your room late at night and are awakened by shouting. You know something is wrong. You get out of your bed and stumble sleepily out to the living room where your parents are obviously angry and arguing. Then they see you. In the sudden silence you say “Mommy, Daddy, what’s wrong?”
They both automatically snap “nothing … go back to bed.” So you go back to bed bewildered trying to reconcile this new information that your natural perceptions are wrong. Thus begins your life-long cognitive dissonance between what you are told is how things are instead of what you intuit. In other words, you are taught from even before sentience not to trust your feelings, intuition and judgement. Strike ONE to your self-esteem and safety. You are helpless and need to be guided through the minefield of a dangerous world where nothing is as it seems.
You have been programed your entire life by your parents (who were programed by theirs) by your school, your church, current societal norms, television, the news, advertising and so on. How long were you allowed in your early life to do your own thinking? Do you remember a time when your true perception of anything was affirmed by anyone? Or have you been indoctrinated from before memory by unconscious people, organizations and pervasive business entities with massive bottom-line agendas, the government and (enigmatically, she writes) BEYOND? The ways to subliminally program you have increased exponentially since you were a child. You are indeed at risk in a world where nothing is as it seems.
I remember the moment it occurred to me to begin to think for myself. It was after everyone I loved and whose approval I sought in my family died in my early thirties in quick succession. The devastation is not describable to anyone who has not experienced it. It’s like trying to explain the color blue to someone who has been blind from birth. But there are those of you who do know how that feels, and you know what the people around you can’t understand: there is no time-limit on grief. But there is a time-limit on how long you are permitted to appear to grieve.
I didn’t bounce back fast enough to suit some people. I tried to appear to be fine on the surface, but the tragic losses of the most important people in my life was something I had to deeply process and I had to withdraw to do that. I was reeling from how drastically my life had changed in such a short amount of time and was trying to see a way to move forward with the future I was planning before everyone died. Then came that moment … that forever life-changing epiphany: everyone whose approval I had spent my entire life trying to gain (with limited success) was gone.
Were my plans to get a Master’s Degree what I wanted or what they expected? Was the future I was unconsciously walking into the future I chose for myself? Or was it a future I imagined would please these people whose love and acceptance I craved so much. Was it a future of living inauthentically, even to the point of being incapable of having the awareness of what my dreams and purpose might be if the pressure of family and societal expectations were ever lifted from me?
Well … they were lifted from me. Pow! I was right smack-dab in the middle of tabla rasa! It was a drastic way to arrive at that blessed moment and I don’t recommend it, but that’s what it took to get me there.
Why am I telling this story on this baffling website? I am telling it to help … probably only a handful of people. I am explaining this to the very people who don’t need the explanation because they already think for themselves.
There is nothing in my paradigm that finds fault or automatically takes our differences personally. I am not wired to judge, project and find fault. Nor do I write what I write, say what I say, do what I do, dream what I dream and hope what I hope from a place of ego. It’s not possible. My Purpose as described on this site came to me all at once and I have willingly contributed my free-will to whatever it takes to be the implementor of this vast and improbable vision. I didn’t know what I let myself in for, but anyone who has experienced this will understand: ego is the first thing to go when true LIFE PURPOSE arrives.
No matter what you think you see, things are seldom as they seem and you cannot draw conclusions until you know the whole backstory, and even then why pronounce judgement? Why not have compassion instead?
This website is a cursory overview of what I want to accomplish and am capable of accomplishing along-side of many other people who share my. I am awaiting the arrival of the people I know must exist (because I exist) who are authentic enough to communicate through understanding rather than to alienate with assumptions. I am here to help people and to help the planet. I am here to help people who are here to help people and to help the planet. My dreams are not small dreams. People are out there who also do not operate from ego and can perceive other people with loving understanding because they love and understand themselves. Those people, who I don’t yet even know (in this life), are more my family than my family. Together, we can do anything. It’s a Brave New World and there’s plenty of information out there to distract us.
But there are those of you who are ready for SOMETHING in this crazy world to come into focus and make everything make sense.
Maybe you are an anomalous dreamer too who could also make a big difference in this world if you were given the chance.
Here’s to BIG DREAMS coming true!